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Hello, in May this year my father passed away from a heart attack. He was 60 and living in Thailand with his wife and two young children. Like many due to COVID I had not seen dad for a few years, and in the time I have gotten married and had a baby.
I was one of the few who from the family who spoke with dad on a regular basis, the nature of his current marriage had strained many of the relationships he had with the family.
I am feeling lost on how to move forward, there are so many different feelings and emotions.
I am angry that he has left his affairs and family in such a state.
I am so deeply sad that I will never be able to speak to him again or that he will never meet his first grandchild
I grieve for my two younger half siblings who will grow up without a father
I regret that life had gotten so busy recently we had missed our call that week
His funeral was in Thailand, and I am now having memories of some of the ceremonies during the week of the funeral that at the time we’re not distressing but are distressing for me now. This is not something I expected to go through in my 20’s
I don’t know how to move forward and given the difficult relationship he had with the family it is not something we speak about. I feel others have moved on but I am still struggling physically and mentally.
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