I’m the age my mum was when she died

[Fergie]

I’m working through grief that has intensified this year, after losing mum 2t years ago. I think it’s a combination of the milestone anniversary of losing her, as well as the fact that I am now the age she was when she died. So that means I am now living longer than she managed to. The guilt of that has weighed heavily on me, and I am starting to improve from the depression I had slowly but slowly sunken in to. I suppose the point of this post is to say – grief can sneak up on you at various moments over your lifetime. I’m learning to deal with these emotions, and would welcome others’ suggestions on what has helped them. Thanking you.

Topic

[Fergie]

25 years ago. 🤦‍♀️

[K4593]

Hi Fergie,

I am so glad you reached out to share your story. My grief snuck up on me when I was approaching the age that my dad died, almost 30 years on. I became incredibly anxious and at the time I did not realise what was happening to me. What helped me was speaking with someone outside of my family and support network to share my experience. Another thing that helped was writing an open letter to my dad. In the letter I thanked him for all the memories, for being there when I needed him, for teaching me how to be who I am and I added to letter when I felt like I needed to process my emotions or an experience. Please know we are here for you if you need to talk.

Take care

[Author]

Replies