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I used to live in England when I was little and while I was there I was in a really bad car accident with 7 casualties. I was one of 4 survivors, one committed suicide the following day — I was the one who found him, one of them is in a mental asylum for causing the accident and the last one was one of my closest friends. She was diagnosed with anorexia at 8 years old and I met her at the hospital when I was diagnosed at 6, 3 1/2 years later. Alexa and my Grandmother helped me through that multiple times when I ended up in the hospital and we called/texted every day. I was 8 at the time of the accident and was really close to everyone involved. They were the people that helped me to learn that cars were okay. Earlier this year my Grandmother died of Ovarian Cancer and that completely crushed me as she had been there for me for so long and I wasn’t really able to be there for her when she needed me because of the distance. Around that time Lexa started completely focusing on my and how I was doing, completely avoiding quetions I had about her wellbeing and a month later I was the one that called the hospital when she collapsed. She died a while later from heart failure. We had been through so much together and I justed wanted her to live and to be healthy and to be happy with herself and I just wish that I could have done more. I met Lexa’s boyfriend at the same time I met her and we quickly became really close friends too. His sister died in the accident and he was on face time during the whole thing because he was suposed to be coming with us. It was a field trip of sorts and he had just had an incident due to his own disorder CIPA — can’t feel pain or regulate body temperature. Lexa and Jack were like the older siblings I never really had and after they started dating it was really weird for me but with was exactly the kind of thing that people looked up two. Calling Jack after Lexa passed was one of the hardest things and he just broke after that. He wanted to live but he was even more reckless and he ended up overexherting himself. Since I live so far away I don’t know how long it will be until I realise they are actually gone and I know they wanted me to be happy but I just don’t know how.
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