Heart Pain

[KateFE]

My cat of 11 years passed a week ago. After a few years he went to my mum’s house in her beautiful property. I am happy he had a good life but feel regret, feeling like I abandoned him. He was there every Christmas and every birthday, and I will really miss his presence as he was calming and comforting. I’m especially sad for my family too, and their loss aswell. For my mum who spent every night with him in her lap. He had kidney issues before he died and Mum said he was getting skinny due to illness and I was in denial. I really regret not listening to her. I would’ve liked to spend more time cuddling and celebrating him. Thankyou

Topic

[VM – OnAJourney]

Hi @KateFE
It is very sad losing someone so important to us. And I can totally understand what you say about denial and the regrets you experience. It takes courage to acknowledge those feelings to oneself and to others. I remember the regrets and the guilt I felt when we had to put our cat down some years ago when his kidneys failed. And on the other hand I knew it was better for him, and he had had a good life before getting unwell. Having this mix of different emotions is very common when we navigate our grief.
Sounds like your cat had quite a calming personality and was loved by the whole family, and you are aware of their grief and loss too. Are there particular ways how you support each other in your grief?
Thank you for sharing – I’m thinking of you.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by onlinecommunity.

[VM-Mancha1]

Hello @KateFE

thank you for sharing your story, and trusting us with it. Your cat sounds like a lovely pet, some cats are hard work but yours sounds like a real ‘people person’ who loved you and your family and enjoyed receiving that love back in turn. I can almost hear the purring through those words, curled up in your mums lap.

It’s perfectly normal to feel pain and strong emotions when we lose someone we love, and guilt is a common feeling; when we’ve lost a pet or a person we love, it’s completely natural to feel like we could have spent more time with them. I see that as a sign of our love for them – if we didn’t care as much we wouldn’t feel that guilt, so to some degree that guilt is almost a badge of honour.

Losing a pet is hard, the grief can be as strong as when we lose a friend or family member, and I’m going to suggest that you be okay with what you’re feeling and accept that it will take time. This page (https://griefline.org.au/resources/losing-a-pet/) is a good start point in providing some help and guidance around this.

It’s also good to make sure that you are taking care of yourself, since grief can be a heavy burdon to carry. Giving yourself the best chance you can to cope with that is a great strategy to avoid feeling burned out and exhausted – this page explains the importance of EAST (Eating, Activities, Sleeping and Time): https://griefline.org.au/resources/east-toolkit/

Please come back soon and tell us how you’re doing, we’re here for you.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by onlinecommunity.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by onlinecommunity.

[vmsunflower2]

Hi @KateFE

I am so sorry for your loss, losing a pet can be like losing a person, and I personally have lost a few pets. Some I have guilt over and others I don’t. Its great that you are reaching out and talking about it, even though it hurts it is good to just get it out.

I’m wondering how are doing? How have you been coping?

xxx Sunflower

• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by vmsunflower2.

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