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Hi my best friend, team mate and the person I love most in world Zackybear (he is more than a pet and better than any person) passed on 27th of January this year
He was 13 and a half and it was him and me as teammates from when he was 12 weeks old
He got me through the worst times of my life and my inspiration for the best times. Every decision and action I made had him at the centre
Now that I’m going through the worse thing in my life, he’s not here and I miss him so much and it hurts so much worse than I ever imagined
I had to make the decision that it was his time and I know his health was deteriorating quite rapidly, he was mostly blind, deaf and couldn’t really walk and in my head I know it was the kindest choice for him
But I can’t get past it emotionally, even now I’m bawling, it’s affecting my work and life
I keep thinking he’ll come back and then I fall apart again when I have to remind myself that he can’t (and getting a new doggie is out of the question for a long time)
I thought by now I’d have made some progress in grieving but I take 2 steps forward and then 2 steps back
I would really welcome some advice
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