fixing a broken heart when the biggest part is gone

[Wolfboy12]

Hi my best friend, team mate and the person I love most in world Zackybear (he is more than a pet and better than any person) passed on 27th of January this year
He was 13 and a half and it was him and me as teammates from when he was 12 weeks old
He got me through the worst times of my life and my inspiration for the best times. Every decision and action I made had him at the centre
Now that I’m going through the worse thing in my life, he’s not here and I miss him so much and it hurts so much worse than I ever imagined
I had to make the decision that it was his time and I know his health was deteriorating quite rapidly, he was mostly blind, deaf and couldn’t really walk and in my head I know it was the kindest choice for him
But I can’t get past it emotionally, even now I’m bawling, it’s affecting my work and life
I keep thinking he’ll come back and then I fall apart again when I have to remind myself that he can’t (and getting a new doggie is out of the question for a long time)
I thought by now I’d have made some progress in grieving but I take 2 steps forward and then 2 steps back
I would really welcome some advice
Thanks

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[onlinecommunity]

Hi @Wolfboy12, thank you so much for reaching out to the forums. Our heart goes out to you for the loss of your Zackybear. The way you speak about him is heartwarming – your teammate, best friend, inspiration…what a truly special bond you had with him. We hope you have found ways to continue this bond…many people on the forums talk about creating a spot in their home that they can go to when the pain is strong. A place with a photo and special mementos like his collar, bowl, ball… or maybe you’ve found other ways to keep his memory alive and the love in your heart?
The grief of losing a pet can feel unbearable…for many of us, they are beside our side more than any person…our constant companions. Having to make the decision to let him go showed such strength and love…unfortunately love and grief are a package deal. When we make the decision to love our pets we make the decision to grieve. But there are some things that might help;
– David Kessler, grief expert suggests that we shift our mindset… When you feel yourself going into overwhelm or your mind goes to the terrible moment when you had to let him go, shift it instead to sending him love. “I’m sending you love. I’m surrounding you with love”. Say what works for you – and you can say it over and over.
– Tapping into your strengths might help you to take 2 steps forward and only 1 step back ☺️ At Griefline we are big advocates for strengths-based grief recovery. So you might like to take a look at the article on our Resource Hub “Grief Recovery: In Search of Lost Strengths” –
– Take good care of yourself – treat yourself with kindness just as you would have Zackybear. Try to eat well, get plenty of sleep and exercise. Staying physically healthy bolsters your strength for your mental health too.

@Wolfboy12, we hope this advice helps in some way. Please keep in touch and let us know how you’re going. We are here for you. 🌸

[Wolfboy12]

Thank you so very much
It means a lot that there are others that understand how real this pain is
Thank you for the advice and the link to the resource page
I will check it out
Thank you again

[Wolfboy12]

Sorry for odd replies I’m a bit of a technological Luddite
Thank you again

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Wolfboy12.

[onlinecommunity]

Hi @Wolfboy12, just checking in. Hoping you got a chance to check out the resource page …or to tap into other coping strategies of your own. No pressure of course – we each have our own unique way to grieve and our own timeline so it is up to you when and what coping tools you decide to turn to.

And no need to apologise for technological challenges! We are just glad you’re here and sharing your story so that others know they are not alone in their experience of grief, and so that you can start to process and work through yours.

@Wolfboy12, keep posting if you can. We are here for you. 🌸

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