- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by .
I would like to first thank this service for a forum like this in the community.
I’m 25 now navigating grief in all directions, I’ve experienced loss and grief and not always in regards to death.. sometimes you just lose things like friendships, relationships, family members become distant… We ended up going through serious domestic violence when me and my little sister were growing up, we had to leave my house , my whole suburb, and we had to give our dog away I was 15 and broke down, I lost friendships I’ve been bullied and never really was able to maintain social connections, we lost everything we had.. over the next few years was troublesome, mum trying to be a single mum, looking after my little sister and changing our life completely. I then turned 17 and found out I was having a baby!!!! I was excited , then at 29 weeks they discovered she was small and I had to have tests… They called me into the hospital for a meeting about the results… My beautiful little girl was diagnosed with Trisomy 18 (Edwards Syndrome)… I was given the option to terminate or keep going with the pregnancy and I kept going with hope my daughter will make it… The 12th of July comes 2015 and after being in 3 day labour I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, drs thought she might be born stillborn due to the syndrome but she proved the drs wrong… I started to become confident holding her in my arms, I spent time with my daughter, my sister and my mum for 6 hrs, and at 3.25pm in the afternoon that day she closed her eyes and had her last breath in my arms …. Seeing death has changed my mind completely it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever seen or been through.. 7 yrs on I’m still struggling and crying my eyes out typing all this… When my daughter passed away, my little sister I mentioned earlier then turned to heavy drug use and crime, and she is 19 now , but I’ve also lost her to the system , my sister can’t come near us now because of violence towards mum and she ended up in refuges/independent living , she has turned on me when all I ever wanted to do was be a big sister for her and I’ve lost that too now.
I am now fearing that everyone or everything I get close too I can’t because I’m scared of losing them, all my friends have their lives and babies which I have a fear of being near babies so that causes isolation, I don’t leave the house cause I fear outside I’m a hermit and all I do is grieve, I just don’t know where to start in recovery because I feel loss and lost in so many things it’s damaged my capability of being a healthy human being…
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.