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I’ve joined today. I’m just wondering if there are others out there that want to share their experiences and coping methods. I’m sorry if this post is chaotic I’m not the best at explaining how I feel.
2019 I lost my mum to suicide. It was unexpected. She didn’t leave a note. Mum struggled with mental illness throughout her life, she had it tough and didn’t make the best decisions at times but I certainly always felt loved by her. Dad and her split when I was young and from there she was pretty much on her own, she never had much but us kids always had the best time with her. She was funny and creative and truely one of a kind, the kind of mum you could tell anything to, she would never judge, she was always supportive. When mum passed it was at a time when my two brothers were living with her. Long story short, my two brothers came to live with me, two years later they finally left. I think in the time that I was caring for them I never got the chance to care for myself. Mums passing changed me, I’m not sure how but I just don’t feel the same anymore. I don’t feel the kind of youthfulness and happiness that I once did. In fact I sometimes feel like I’m just watching the world go by, all these wonderful things are happening around me and I just can’t feel anything towards them. I just wonder where everyone else that’s has lost someone this way is? I’ve never met anyone, sometimes I feel like I’m the only one. How do you cope in life/what do you do?
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