Reply To: My sweet Sayge

[debsayge]

Thank you dear moon,
Such a sweet surprise to see a msg, really it means so much your acts of kindness, I know you know that too….
I understand what you mean, no words left, you feel crazy repeating the same sad thoughts….I often wonder if I’m the only one that feels so incapable, of anything really, anything much…..and then the I’m just hopeless things come in which is just really horrible, I’m sure you know….
I hold on and hope this pain is taking me somewhere deep in my heart…..
Please share if you’ve had any dreams or signs, as this helps in a weird way….I speak to Sayge all the time as you would to darling Jeramy, I’m trying to trust she’s here right by me, and I KNOW she understands my anguish…..just find that sentiment from so many, she’d want you to be happy!! Really!!! That just grates on me, such a painful platitude, another guilt trip…. Ask any beautiful caring mother who’s lost, the only place our children should be is safe here with us……. Tucked in bed…….
I did have an amazing experience recently (outside where I’m always) surrounded by (I’d say) a brilliant orb of beautiful rainbow colours (like looking through a calidascope) to my left and spiraling into my heart area…. I know, it’s amazing, but also as you know not enough, not for us broken down mummas…..
Anyway something to share, it holds me, and just hoping by sharing perhaps you or others may feel to, or to just bring some hope….my precious Sayge, I’m always loving you….thinking of Jeremy, I hope they are around us..
Always holding your hand Moon, don’t ever feel alone
XxDeb