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I am soooo sorry to hear of your loss of both dad and your sister. There are no words that can take away your sadness but just know that we are here to hold you as you grieve, and cry. Grief as you describe it can look like a vast ocean and seem like everything around you is hollow and fake. Everything has changed and you are adjusting to life as it has never been before.
I am pleased to hear you are getting professional help and this forum is a wonderful and safe place to share your feelings in between times.
You mentioned that you feel bad that you seem to be grieving more for your sister, what a terrible and shocking way to lose your beloved sister. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. I hope you have good support of family and friends to support you through such a horrific time.
I hope you will again feel that closeness to your dad when you go out on your runs. It may be true that we learn to move forward and to carry the pain of loss with us, but there is no rush, and it is in your time. There will come a time when you are ready.
We are holding you closely and feeling your sadness, please take good care of yourself, and stay in touch.