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Hi Matilda. I am sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is a major loss as they often are someone who has been a constant figure throughout our lives. As you approach the anniversary of your mum’s passing it is natural that it will bring up a lot of emotions, and probably more so due to the anniversary being Christmas day as this is a time when we tend to think of family. Yes, you are normal as there is no right or wrong way to grieve – it is an individual experience. As you say, when we experience grief it can be a roller coaster of emotions. I have attached a link to the Griefline website resources on ways to help cope with grief. https://griefline.org.au/resources/coping-with-grief/. Surround yourself with those who are supportive and disregard those that make negative comments. Also, if you would like to talk to someone about your experience of loss and grief there are trained and caring counsellors available at Griefline on 1300 845 745. Thank you for reaching out and try to be kind to yourself.