Reply To: Mum passing away during going through delayed grief/depression with Dads death

[VM- thanasis43]

Hi Paul,
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Thank you for sharing what you are going through so openly with us here on the forums. The feelings you have described all sound incredibly normal given your losses, however, I understand knowing this does not alleviate your pain. Our parents are often the people that help us feel safe in the world and it sounds like you had a great relationship with your parents, especially your dad, so such losses do really seem to shake our foundations. @artemis and @mikey2022 can I’m sure relate to this feeling.

Fearing we’ll forget our loved ones is common and you might benefit from writing down memories that come to you, to create a record of some of your favourite times with your parents. Or maybe you could create a playlist that evokes memories of them too. Some people also have things (eg. a mug or keyring) made using photos of their loved ones that will serve as regular reminders each time they use them. This Griefline article shares other tips on continuing your bond and coping with grief, which you may find useful: https://griefline.org.au/resources/coping-with-grief/

It’s reassuring to hear that you have some good support around you. I would encourage you to keep reaching out to these people during times when you feel too depressed to do anything, even if you can only manage to send them a text. There is no timeframe for grief, or feeling ready to re-engage in social ways, but it’s important to stay connected with your support networks even if you don’t feel up to seeing them. You can also always call Griefline on 1300 845 745. Do you also have a counsellor you speak to about your depression?

Try to focus on doing the little things that make you feel better and note things you might need to stay away from for a little while if they make you feel worse.

Keep talking, we are here for you.