@justme, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my Mum six months ago so feel your pain and isolation, especially if you’re the one organising things, needing to be strong for everyone. It can be so hard not only being in her home but also going through her belongings, many of which bring up more memories.
It’s important to be gentle with yourself through this and take one step at a time, especially with such a complicated history. Reaching out and asking for help is a great start. Support groups such as Motherless Daughters – https://www.motherlessdaughters.com.au/ may help for female members of your family.
It sounds like you have a number of siblings under 18 and am wondering whether you’ve heard of the National Centre for Childhood Grief. They provide free counselling for those under 18 and can be contacted on 1300 654 556. You might like to check out their website.
I hope this helps in some small way. Please do reach out via this post again if you need, or call Griefline on 1300 845 745 as talking with someone can help ease the burden when things get tough.