Thankyou jamie62, your description of Grief ! You nailed it my friend, you have the gift. “I am the price you paid for loving her..” Thats the feeling for me. We didn’t have the contract disclosed to us. The thought of a time like this, not on the agenda. Where did the Cancer come from? How could it be so sudden? We are left so empty and bereft. Please keep writing mate, I hope it helps you.