I understand that this was posted a while ago now, but I wanted to check in and offer support. It’s always awful when everything feels like it’s going wrong all at once. It can be tempting to look for logic and blame, and this is a normal part of the grieving process for many people. You sound like you will be a fantastic, kind, social worker and I hope this career path is going well for you (but if it’s not that’s completely ok too)!
Have the therapy and mindfulness been helping? Please feel free to reach out on the forums or helpline (1300 845 745) to talk any time.