I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are feeling sad and lost after the passing of your wife. It is normal to feel this way after the loss of a loved one, and I want to acknowledge your strength in reaching out on the forums.
I’m wondering if it will be helpful to engage in rituals that will allow you to remember your wife, while accepting that she has passed away. https://griefline.org.au/resources/understanding-the-symptoms-of-grief/#Continue_the_Bond_with_your_loved_one_while_coming_to_accept_that_they_have_gone provides some suggestions that you might want to try when you are ready to do so.
Keep on posting, we are here to listen. If you would like to talk to someone, feel free to contact the helpline at 1300 845 745 from 6am-12am AEDT.