I understand exactly how you feel. I lost my four year old cattle dog/kelpie X to a 1080 bait four weeks ago. I was with her throughout 15 minutes of excruciating pain until her life drifted away. Hard to get over it and I feel sad all the time. I live on a farm and I see her during every job I do. She was such a close friend and I will never get over her. It really hurts and I struggle through each day, but I know things will get better, so hang in there.