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I am really sorry to hear about your dads passing, and that your family have not been very supportive.
I realise u wrote this a while ago, and I hope things have improved a little at home and that your husband is helping you out more.
My dad died of suicide too, on January 11 this year. That was the worst news I have ever heard, and for months I was just frozen. Time went by so fast and I didn’t do very much of anything.
I can’t imagine having the added pressure of young children to take care of. However one way I have been trying to deal with the death of my dad is writing in a journal. It is hard to know how to feel when somebody takes their own life, so sometimes I just remind myself of the facts. Then pay attention to how I feel.
I hope you can also find a little bit of time in your busy day to do a small thing that makes u happy. If it be for no other purpose than just that.
I hope this helps a tiny bit.