I am very sorry for your loss of your beautiful wife Susie. Thank you for sharing her story and your journey now. You write so beautifully about her place in your heart and it sounds so very precious to have found your soul mate, for both of you, and so hard now. I wish you strength and courage in these weeks and times ahead and that your memories of your times together can bring you comfort and be with you during the times of great difficulty. It is indeed good that you have loving friends and family around you and that you can reach out to them, as well as any resources and the community here. One day at a time, ha?