I’m sorry for your loss. It is normal to feel overwhelmed and lost after losing your partner, especially since both of you had such a strong bond. It sounds like Susie was an amazing woman.
You mentioned that you’ve been having some difficulty eating and sleeping. When we are grieving the loss of someone dear to us, self-care can get pretty difficult. However, it can be helpful to establish a routine that will enable you to cope during this time. https://griefline.org.au/resources/east-toolkit/ is a good place to start, as it discusses four aspects of self-care (Eating, Activities, Sleeping and Time) that might be helpful to you.
You also mentioned that you are “missing the small things”, such as Susie bringing you coffee, and the time you spent together. https://griefline.org.au/resources/understanding-the-symptoms-of-grief/#Continue_the_Bond_with_your_loved_one_while_coming_to_accept_that_they_have_gone describes ways in which you can continue the bond with Susie when you are ready to do so.
I am glad that you have support from family and friends, but I also want to acknowledge your strength in reaching out to us on the forums. Feel free to share more about Susie, or how you’re feeling- we are here to listen to you and support you. If you would like to talk to someone, you can reach out to Griefline at 1300 845 745 between 6am and 12am AEDT.