Reply To: My sweet Sayge

[debsayge]

Dear Moon, and all listening,
Thank you Moon, that’s fine I don’t see it as taking over at all! I’m grateful for all your sharing in whatever way as it helps to know someone’s actually there…we used to sing to Crosby song all the time, with all our different animal names, so thankyou, and the logical song being home Ed was a really good one to sing while they were listening and playing pool, laughing away….it just feels like the end of the world to me now, all the lovely things we did, feels just gone and I can’t stand Sayge missing out on all we were together, to me everyday feels like a betrayal, the emotions just pour out of me and I’m so all over the place, and so don’t know what I’m doing….I can’t clean the house which sounds probably stupid to everyone, though when you’ve shared every moment (even cleaning) with my helpful considerate girl, it just feels impossible, can anyone relate??? Just being in this boy energy is doing my head in, my Archer is gorgeous but it’s just so hard the missing ….I’ve spent my life just being and with the kids, my partner more seperate from that,more always doing his own thing and not with us through the years…. so just having them to rely on is too hard and I feel guilty for being such a mess….even someone I trust said it must be hard for them to see me like this all the time, that does not help, just makes me feel like I’m not allowed, ohhh all so confusing…. Any comforting words would be helpful, my confidence in life is shattered, don’t know who I am anymore friends
Much love to all of you
XxDeb