I am sorry I missed this message before, I’ve been away for a few days – your Ella sounds amazing, I can feel some of the pain and shock you must be feeling. It’s perfectly natural to feel such deep heartache when we lose a loved one, especially when they’ve been with us so long and been so loyal and loving (no matter how many legs they have). I think it’s natural too to feel that life isn’t fair, our dogs are so wonderful to us and they don’t deserve such an end.
It’s really important to understand that you aren’t alone, both in your grief and in your heartache. The forum community is here to help, and there are some great resources here at Griefline too – for example this page helps in providing some guidance and advice on how to start coping with this immense loss: https://griefline.org.au/resources/losing-a-pet/
I hope you find it helps, and please keep coming back.