Hi Amber, I hear you and am listening. Courageous of you, to ask, am I the only one, when it feels most so. I can assure you are not.
Others will also relate and respond ok, you’ll see, we can find a path together, I hope.
Sometimes a part of grief gets delayed when you are busy looking after others. I know I ran on stress adrenal after burying my father and looking after 4 under 5, should have put my hand up earlier. Your mum sounds kinda like me, I reckon she’d want you to try live your childhood dreams now xx