So sorry for your loss, there is no love like a mothers love for her child and to lose a child is the greatest most unbearable pain.
I too am a bereaved Mother. I lost my Beautiful first born Son this year. This to will my first mothers day without him.
I think we just need to let the tears flow and feel whatever we need to as there is no easy road when it comes to losing a child.
Sending all Bereaved Mothers Love strength & Comfort on Mothers Day XX