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Reply To: My best friend lost her Mum

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Home Forums Loss of a loved one My best friend lost her Mum Reply To: My best friend lost her Mum


Hi Chardz,

Thank you so much for posting. That sounds really hard – seeing your best friend struggling like that, and not being sure what to say or how to help. It is beautiful that you are looking for ways to help her. Having a good friend who is willing to listen is really helpful to people who are grieving.

I agree with @vm-harry – the ‘supporting a grieving friend having courageous conversations’ has some good specific ideas about having conversations. It also has some conversation starters (and some things to avoid saying), which I find helpful. I will often say something like “My heart goes out to you” or “I’m so sorry to hear of your loss”.

Also, it is OK (and normal) to be unsure what to say. If I don’t know what to say, I will actually say “I don’t know what to say.” Often the hardest thing is the first step – making the phone call or turning up. I find it gets easier after that first step.

Having trouble sleeping is common in grief. The Griefline website has ways to help with sleep, which I’ve attached below. If your friend continues to have trouble sleeping, it may be helpful to show her (although the most important thing at the moment would be listening).

Tips to Improve Your Sleep

Dealing with Insomnia

I hope these ideas help. All the best with helping your friend. Remember we’re here for you – feel free to post again.

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