I’m glad you came back and saw this. Losing a soulmate is just as hard to cope with whether they walk on two legs or four, it is a deeply profound loss, and it’s only natural to be impacted by that. The stronger we are connected to our loved ones, the more that can be true.
To stand up and make the choice that is right for them takes courage and bravery, and I’m reminded of the definition of bravery – it isn’t about not feeling scared, but about doing what is right despite feeling that fear. It seems you were incredibly brave and made the decision to save your soulmate from further pain, that is a strength you should be proud of.
I was just reading a post from @morgana1963 who went through something similar. I am hoping you too are having some days or times when this isn’t quite as painful, even if just by a little, and it might be worth delving into what’s different in those moments?
If you are feeling that you need further help then I would strongly recommend finding that help. Your GP is always a good starting point, and there are some great resources on the GriefLine website to help as well.
Please keep posting, we’re always here.