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What you’re going through sounds really tough. I also lost my father a few weeks ago to very different circumstances. I’m sorry that there are so many things going on in your life and that you feel hopeless and that so many things were robbed from you at your father’s funeral.
I hope you find it in you somewhere to remember this strength to stay strong for your children. It must be incredibly hard being a mother already, to have lost a parent and to have a husband as you have described; must make it so much worse.
Be strong for your children although I know nothing as I’m not a parent yet. I just know that my mum was strong for us when she was depressed and we were younger. I hope that the things you wrote at least helped you a little.
I’m so sorry. I hope that someone appears or reappears in your life that can help you and comfort you soon.