I am so glad you reached out to share your story. My grief snuck up on me when I was approaching the age that my dad died, almost 30 years on. I became incredibly anxious and at the time I did not realise what was happening to me. What helped me was speaking with someone outside of my family and support network to share my experience. Another thing that helped was writing an open letter to my dad. In the letter I thanked him for all the memories, for being there when I needed him, for teaching me how to be who I am and I added to letter when I felt like I needed to process my emotions or an experience. Please know we are here for you if you need to talk.