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Dear @tamar1, welcome to the forums. Our hearts are with you as you grieve for your brother. Thank you for sharing your story of loss with us – we hope you will find understanding and support from others in our community. It sounds like there are several factors contributing to a feeling of being alone in your grief. Firstly, COVID and the difficulties it presents to travel interstate and perhaps be with your other siblings. And also, the response of those closest to you. Your husband’s reaction must have been quite distressing, but it might be helpful to know that this is not an uncommon reaction from the people who love us. Many people feel ill-equipped to help someone through grief – often because of their own childhood and life experiences. They may find talking about death and a loss of this magnitude too overwhelming. Equally, they hate to see you distressed. So rather than face the loss they diminish it and try to rush you to ‘get over it’.
The fact is that we all experience grief in our own way. No one can predict how it will affect you nor how long it might take. For some of us the grief will always be there – we just learn to manage it… or at best we grow around it.
We are heartened to hear of your strategies to ‘continue bonds’ with your brother…playing his music and cooking his favourite foods is a wonderful way to stay close to him. You speak of the great relationship you had with him, and these are lovely ways to ensure your connection stays strong.
Perhaps it would be helpful to be reminded of your other strengths for help with navigating the grief journey in your own way. The ‘In Search of Lost Strengths Part 1 and 2’ article on our resource hub has some excellent ideas to support you with this; In Search of Lost Strengths Part 1.
@tamar1, we hope you will keep in touch and let us know how you are going. We are here for you. 🌸