Dear @dpowell3840, a warm welcome to the forums. Our hearts go out to you for the recent loss of your mother and the protracted and traumatic loss of your father 17 years ago. We are glad you have come to a place of shared experience and understanding – especially considering the lack of response from those around you and the desperation you are feeling right now.
Unfortunately, the experience of being isolated in our grief is common. People around us seem incapable of, or unwilling to even think about it, let alone sit with the discomfort to support us. While this perception is often true it’s not always.. you might find some insight into this in the article ‘Coping with Grief’ on our Resource Hub. It acknowledges that we often unknowingly turn away from the thing that might help us most…other people, because we mistakenly feel like no one understands us, we have to do this on our own, or that we’re a burden to others. The writer points out that the benefits of sharing our pain with others almost always override the drawbacks and gives a number of tips for seeking comfort and help from others.
Another helpful resource might be this article “In Search of Lost Strengths” Part 1 and Part 2. It will help you to run an inventory of sorts across your support network to identify the gaps and suggests ways to go about filling them. These tools will hopefully support you at least through the next week or so until you see your Psychologist.
We are so glad that you are arming yourself with a number of tools like this online support group and your psychologist. It’s clear that you are trying your very best to safely navigate your grief journey. Please keep posting and let us know how you are you going. We are here for you @dpowell3840. 🌸