Dear @mikaela_lewis1990, we wanted to send you a warm welcome to the Griefline forums and a heartfelt thank you for reaching out to support another community member in need. We also wanted to acknowledge your own devastating story of loss and to offer our support and understanding in return.
It sounds like you shared a very precious love with your husband and we hope that you have found ways to continue to cherish your bond with him, as it is yours to hold on to forever. @mykeedee mentioned his ‘memory bank’ where he stores ‘micro’ memories of his beloved wife…what a beautiful and unique way of continuing bonds.
You mention the overwhelming loneliness you are feeling and we firstly want to let you know that we are here, holding space for you and acknowledging your sadness. Also, it might be helpful to know that whilst loneliness is almost unavoidable at first, there may be ways of alleviating it a little to make things more bearable. You feel like your friends might think you are selfish if you express your grief. You are not alone in thinking this way but as you’ll see in our Coping with Grief article on the Resource Hub, “often, when consumed by grief, we turn away from the one thing that might help us most…other people. We might feel that no one understands us, we have to do this on our own, or that we’re a burden to others…while these are all valid concerns, the benefits of sharing our pain with others almost always overrides the drawbacks.” The article goes on to provide a list of ways to reach out to others to find the support and friendship you truly deserve, one of which you’ve already done by posting on the forums. So you are on your way 😊.
@mikaela_lewis1990, we are so glad you have posted, so that we can bear witness to your grief but also to your compassion to reach out to others, your courage to tell us your story and your strength to care for and protect your little boy. We hope you will find a sense of belonging here. We are here for you 🌸.