Hello @mykeedee and a sincere welcome to the forums. Our hearts go out to you for the sudden loss of your beloved wife Charlotte. The words you have posted and your 45-minute eulogy give us a glimpse into the love you have for Charlotte and an understanding of the depths of your grief which, in essence, is a measure of that love.
You mention feeling powerless and weak and yet in the midst of your despair, you are finding a super-human strength to commit to getting through the days and being present for your three young daughters including little Runa who surely defied the odds to pull through. We note that her beautiful and unusual name means ‘mighty strength’ which, like you, she seems to personify.
It’s this strength and courage that is driving you to engage in one of the most important self-care strategies in grief recovery – reaching out to others to share your story and seeking support from others, especially dads with a shared experience. Here on the forums we all share in your experience of grief and loss and are here to support you on your journey in our own ways. As part of this the community coordinator will contact you to help facilitate engagement with bereaved dads.
For now, you might like to take a look at this article on our Resource Hub which provides more tips on coping with grief including ways to take care of your mental, emotional and physical health & gaining a better understanding of yourself and a healthy future outlook.
Psychologist Jamie Cannon says “when someone is formed as part of you, there will eternally be a space in your life that fits only them…there will never be a day when we wake up and forget the missing elements of our lives [but] eventually, the pain that accompanies this remembering will dull and be less acute when it hits…ultimately, we will find other outlets into which we can pour our devotion and energy.” It’s a very real and raw quote but perhaps it will give you some hope for finding that light at the end of the tunnel you are searching for.
@mykeedee, we hope you will keep posting and sharing. We are thinking of you and we are here for you. 🌸