Hello @Robyn, welcome to the Griefline forums. We acknowledge your courage to reach out to the community and are here to give you support and a place to feel heard and held.
Our hearts go out to you for the sudden loss of your husband and the life you had planned together. Right now you are experiencing your own unique version of grief which will be different from anything else you’ve gone through before. It’s a new path for you to navigate that might seem almost insurmountable right now… Try to take it easy and care for yourself like you would someone else – with tenderness and compassion. Making sure you’re eating well, sleeping as close to usual as possible, and getting a little fresh air and gentle exercise where you can.
Most of all now is your time to reach out for as much support as you need. Grief can feel like you’re drowning in an ocean of sorrow – but you can find ways to take a breath here and there until the water subsides a little. The support of friends and family can be the best way to come up for air… perhaps reminiscing about your husband’s best qualities and the happy memories of your good times together, pulling out favourite photos or watching videos with others who loved him too. Do you feel up to this?
Even though you’re feeling like life is pointless and without meaning, we see a lot of strength in you to get through this – you’ve posted here and that shows real fortitude. You also mentioned consulting your GP which is a vital self-care strategy… and your consideration of your daughter’s grief even though you are in so much pain, shows real compassion.
It seems that many of us who have lost a loved one struggle so hard with feelings of grief. You might like to take a look at @Tmc’s link in our Helping Hand forum topic ‘Guilt and grief: coping with the shoulda woulda coulda’. Also our ‘Coping with Grief’ article on the Resource Hub has some good coping strategies to tap into.
And please, if you would like to, feel free to share with us your favourite memories of your husband or the things you miss most. We would love to hear about him.
We are here for you 🌸