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Reading your experience SamWalks I can relate in part. While I’m lucky some of my family came together after my mum died, the funeral was during the circuit breaker lock down, and so family overseas and interstate (where most of our family is) couldn’t travel to Victoria and only a small number of people could be present. It was awful that so many people who love mum couldn’t be there – to say goodbye or support each other.
I also relate to the surreal feeling. At the funeral I kept looking at the coffin and I couldn’t believe that my mum was inside. The thought was almost appalling.
I’m also experiencing those overwhelming sad days and I had one today. I thought maybe I was doing better because I’d had a couple of days of feeling half alive, but then bam! Today I struggled to find the value in doing anything. Everything feels an effort and I’m just so tired. In a cruel twist, I also can’t fall asleep!
I’m so sorry for your loss which is exacerbated by distance and COVID. I hope you find this discussion helpful. I have found it helpful in relating to the experiences of others and also learning from them. I think it’s comforting to know you’re not alone in your experience of grief, even if the people on here are‘virtual’.