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hi @SamWalks
i am sorry for your loss. i relate to you when you say you feel you dont have a lot of support in Australia. i moved here several years ago and felt quite alone after the loss of my mum. she was overseas when she passed and my circumstances at the time did not enable me to travel to her. i traveled afterwards and it didnt help me feel any better. she was still gone.
to me, you are so lucky that you got to watch the funeral on zoom and be present in that way.
there are times i still break down at random moments but i like to think thats what my body needs and i allow it to happen.
i hope my words have helped in some way. my heart goes out to you