Reply To: Loss of a Loved One

[onlinecommunity]

Hi @gflintham, welcome to the Griefline forums. Our hearts hurt for you as you navigate your grief after the loss of your wife. Losing a loved one to suicide is so very traumatic and devastating, and all too often it is caused by depression.

It sounds like she was everything you ever wanted and a constant companion who was there for you all the time. Some people say our grief is a measure of the love we had for the person we lost. It seems the love you shared was very special and something you can treasure always.

Sometimes it helps to allow yourself time and space in your day or week to remember the happy times you had together perhaps by looking at photos, holding a memento in your hand or reminiscing about her with other people. It’s a form of ‘continuing bonds’ that can be very healing. There is more information on continuing bonds and other coping strategies here on the Griefline resource hub.

At the same time, you can allow time and space in your days to dedicate to rebuilding your life and ‘moving forward’. It’s good to give yourself permission to do both. You deserve some ‘normality’ and happiness in your life again and its really positive that you are seeking this. You’ve identified finding friends as something which will help you to adapt to your new life. This is a challenge many bereaved people face but there are many ways to open yourself up to new people. The fact that you have reached out on the forums is a fantastic start and you are a welcome new member of our community.

You might also like to try this exercise to meet like-minded friends;
Create a table with 3 columns –
1. MY INTERESTS (eg. walking)
2. WHY I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS eg. walking allows me to stay fit and see others in my community
3. HOW I CAN ENGAGE IN THIS INTEREST WITH OTHERS eg. the local council has a walking club.

Fill out as many interests as you can and then start engaging in them. You can always add more as they come to mind. Hopefully, this is helpful. Do others in our community have more suggestions for making new friends after losing a loved one?

We hope that you’ll stay connected with us and let us know how you’re going. We are here for you. 🌸