Hi Pip. It hurts when your mum dies and nobody knows how much except yourself. My mum died a year and a half ago. I miss her every day. You are the only person who knows how you feel and think, and you don’t have to explain or justify that to anyone. You may find that the feelings that you are having will fluctuate and that you don’t know when the intense times will happen and when the easier moments will be. The grief line counsellors have been a great help to me, when it is hard too hard to cope and when other people find what I am feeling a bit too much to manage. If this helps, love your dad and treasure your time with him. He is experiencing intense loss too. I heard a song on the radio yesterday, which helped me. The lyrics said that when someone you love dies that they have gone ahead and are waiting for you. I am holding on to that idea. Your feelings are unique. Take care.