im sorry for your loss. i relate to your feeling of nervousness aswell. i feel anxious and nervous often and i dont know why. i think it is the deep loneliness, like even when im surounded by people, nobody really understands and i want to keep repeating myself and ruminating. silent screams. as if the only person who truly listened and understood was my mum and now nobody can understand the way she did. and its true. nobody can replace the loved one that we have lost. and i think thats what the loneliness is really about. we just keep looking for that person and finding meaning and connection to things that remind us of them.
sigh… grief really sucks.