Hello @Heather, we welcome you back to the forums and thank you for the well-wishes to others. Your consideration for other community members is amazing considering the intensity of your own pain and suffering right now.
Whilst it is heart-wrenching to read about your distress we are glad you had the courage and fortitude to express it here on the forums where you will always find unconditional support.
It seems that you feel it’s impossible to live the rest of your life without your dear husband and insufferable to continue living with this grief. And yet here you are living one day at a time anyway. Right now that’s all you have to do. Each day we wake up and learn something about our grief experience, over time we can identify what makes it worse and what makes it better. Reach for the better. Day by day, step by step you’ll move to a place where the days becomes a little more tolerable and the rest of your life do-able.
@Heather its unfortunate that you are unable to access counselling through the Australian Centre for Grief Bereavement – have you spoken with your GP about other affordable counselling options? In the meantime, there are some resources on the Griefine website that may help with understanding the grief experience and also provide you with some coping tools. You might like to start with the Coping With Grief article.
Please stay in touch. We are here for you. 🌸