I really feel for you and feel I can relate very much to the feelings you describe. It is a most terribly difficult time, one you have had no control over and unbelievably sad. I am so sorry you are going through this.
I understand feeling there is no future, so I have been told, take it day by day, or in my case, it is hour by hour or minute by minute – try not to think about the future – that is too hard at the moment.
I am meant to return to work on 27th January but have already alerted my boss to the fact I wont be ready and will need to take leave for at least another 6 weeks or so. Maybe taking leave is something you might be able to do? It might keep that connection open, and be something that eventually you can work towards.
I am having therapy but through telehealth it is (often?) bulk-billed on a mental health plan given by your GP. So I am not paying anything extra, and without therapy I certainly could not get through this, in fact I am looking into other things like a support group. This might be something you might consider too. Also, if you have not done so already, I suggest contacting Centrelink because you may well be already eligible for some family payments given you are a single parent. It is certainly hard having financial worries on top of everything else. Do you have a close friend or family member who can help you look into supports because it is a lot to do, and like me, your brain is probably feeling very fried.
Thank you for replying to me. I think it really helps to connect with other people who are in a very difficult place.