Hi @danij, a very warm welcome to the Griefline forums community. Our hearts go out to you for the distress you are feeling at the recent loss of your Mum. We are so glad you have joined our community so that you can share your pain with others who have similar experiences – it will help you to unburden yourself a little and hopefully feel less alone.
It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed by grief right now which is so understandable. You’re feeling numb and exhausted which often happens at this early stage of grief and yet you’ve been able to reach out to the forum to ask for help and also to help others which is testament to your incredible inner strength. Expressing our experience is a coping strategy we might not even recognise…it helps us identify our thoughts and feelings and, though it’s so difficult, we sometimes have to sit with these feelings so we can process them, let them soften and over time move through them.
Having an understanding of grief and loss is often helpful so please feel free to access the information on the Griefline Resource Hub.
It sounds like you shared a beautiful bond with your mum. Some people see the intensity of our grief as a measure of our love for the one we have lost, and rather than trying to suppress our grief, suggest we honour what it represents. Continuing the bonds you shared with your mum might be a comforting way to do this. There are many ways to do this – like lighting a candle alongside her photo, planting a tree in her memory, wearing a piece of her jewellery, perhaps writing a letter to her or even just talking with others about your mum and your relationship – whatever feels right for you.
Something that might also help is to practice mindfulness and you can find some soothing mindfulness recordings on the Griefline website here.
@danij please know that you need not feel alone. We are here for you as you travel this ‘rollercoaster’ ride and we welcome you to touch base as often as you need.