Hello @Effie. Welcome to the Griefline forums community – we are so glad you are here. You have shown such strength to share your intense grief at the loss of your Dad with whom you clearly had a very special bond. Also to let us know the struggles you’re experiencing with feelings and thoughts of anger, hurt and betrayal. Please know that you have come to a supportive space to express your pain and in return receive understanding from others with shared experience.
You ask if you are over reacting or wrong in feeling the way you do and the answer is no… because everyone grieves differently. The feelings and thoughts that come up can surprise and confuse us but they are our own unique response to the loss. As @GL friend says – be kind, and honour yourself. In your heart of hearts you know that you did everything you could to ease your father’s pain and suffering and show him absolute love in his final years. Your care and compassion for him despite having to make significant sacrifices was a precious gift to both of you because no one can ever take it away.
Sometimes when people around us are behaving in ways we feel are unfair or at odds with the situation, it helps to remember that they too are responding to the loss in their unique way which is built on a complex range of thoughts and feelings.
Time is a great healer in these situations as is talking through your experience – just as you are doing here. It helps to remember that the process of healing is more like a marathon than a sprint so it can be wise to take our time in making big decisions about life and family.
Having a good understanding of grief and loss is often helpful so you might like to access the information on the Griefline Resource Hub .
Another helpful tool to give you some much needed respite from distress is Griefline’s ‘Reflecting on Positive Experiences‘ mindfulness recording.
Take care and let us know how you’re faring @Effie.
- This reply was modified 9 months ago by onlinecommunity.