Home / Lets Talk About Grief /Moira Junge – My story of grief, sleep, and the paths they’ve led me on
Moira Junge - My story of grief, sleep, and the paths they’ve led me on
Types of loss:
- Parent loss, Sibling loss, Friend loss, Suicide loss
When Dr Moira Junge was just 15, she experienced the sudden loss of her mum to cancer — an experience that profoundly shaped her life, her understanding of grief, and her relationship with sleep. Over the years, grief would visit her again and again — with the deaths of her father, a close friend, and, most devastatingly, her brother to suicide during COVID lockdowns.
These experiences didn’t just alter Moira’s personal world — they also influenced her professional path, leading her to work at the intersection of psychology, health, and sleep. Now, as the CEO of the Sleep Health Foundation, she advocates for better sleep health across Australia, informed by both her deep expertise and her lived experience of how grief affects rest, recovery, and emotional resilience.
In this essay, Moira shares her personal story of grief and the lifelong lessons it has taught her about the profound connection between loss, sleep, and healing.
I was 15 when I first learned what it meant to grieve. My mum died of cancer — a whirlwind six weeks from diagnosis to death — and in the 1980s there wasn’t the language, the counselling, or the support we have now. The funeral was on a Tuesday, and I was back at school on the Wednesday. That was just the way things were.
I remember doing my crying at night. That was when I had the quiet, when I could let it out. During the day, school gave me structure — the colour, the movement, the people — and then at night I’d lie in bed and cry. It’s strange now to look back on that little girl and remember how she coped in the only ways she knew how.
What I didn’t understand at the time was how much grief had disrupted my sleep. It was impossible to rest properly. My whole physiology felt heightened, full of stress hormones, and I’d lie there with my mind racing. Of course, I didn’t have the language for it back then, but later as a nurse and then as a psychologist, I could name it: hyperarousal. It’s one of the reasons grief makes sleep so hard.
Over the years, I’ve had many more losses — my father, one of my best friends in her 40s, and then, during the COVID-era, my brother to suicide. That one was a complete shock. None of us — his wife, his four sons, his siblings — saw it coming. It was the middle of COVID lockdowns, which meant his funeral was limited to ten people. I’m one of ten siblings, so we couldn’t even attend. Six months later we held a big church service that felt like a funeral, except the coffin wasn’t there.
Image: This is a photograph is with all my siblings, parents, plus some cousins too on the lake (my Mum is in it with my brother on her lap sucking his thumb and I am the blonde little girl third from right).
Each time, my sleep has suffered. In those first few weeks after a loss, I’m lucky if I can rest at all. It feels like a buzzing nervous energy takes over – shaking knees during the day, lying awake at night. Over time, I learned to stop fighting it. I’d tell myself: This will be terrible for a few weeks, maybe a month, but it will pass. I relied on short naps where I could, instead of expecting a full night’s sleep.
I’ve also had the dreams — vivid ones where the person comes back, and for a moment it feels wonderful… until you wake up. I remember dreaming my mum came to the front door, and I felt this mix of relief and anger — How dare you be gone all these years? It’s painful, waking up from those dreams. But they also served a purpose: a way of keeping those we’ve lost present in our lives, even for a moment.
Not everyone reacts like I do. Some people experience hypersomnia — sleeping endlessly, feeling like they can’t face the day. For me, it’s been the opposite: insomnia, heightened alertness, and nightmares. Either way, it’s a reminder that sleep disturbances are a huge part of grief, and they can look different for everyone.
I’ve seen, both personally and professionally, how people struggle with sleep after a loss — and how easy it is for that acute disruption to turn into something chronic. While short-term use of sleeping pills under medical guidance can sometimes help, alcohol — even in the short term — is a poor strategy, often leaving people with worse sleep and, over time, new problems.
My own experiences with grief and sleep are part of why I ended up where I am today. Nursing came first — although it wasn’t my original plan. I’d been studying French and Japanese at Melbourne Uni when I saw an ad for the final intake of hospital-based nursing at the Alfred. I’d cared for my mum in her last weeks — washing her, feeding her, holding her hand — and I’d taken to it instinctively. She even told me once, “You’re so good at this, you should be a nurse.” At 15, I’d dismissed it. But years later, there I was, signing up for nursing — and I loved it.
Still, I wanted regular hours, so I studied psychology. Around the same time, in 1994, the Alfred opened a sleep disorder centre, and I joined the team. That job opened up a whole new world for me — one where I could combine my understanding of physiology, psychology, and human experience. I planned to specialise in psycho-oncology and grief work, but sleep found me — and I stayed.
Images: I just love the old 1970s photos with all my siblings – 10 of us and I am the littlest standing blonde girl in the red/brown shoes (top right). I also love my happy wedding day snap on the steps of the church (bottom right) and my big smile on my graduation day from my Psychology Doctorate, my eyes say it all, very confident of a positive future. I guess I chose photos that resonated with me as proof of living through unbearable grief and continuing to thrive and find happiness.
I joined the board of the Sleep Health Foundation in 2016 and, after my brother’s death, I became the inaugural CEO. It wasn’t what I’d planned. I thought I’d leave psychology altogether, as I had lost my confidence in being able to handle someone experiencing suicide – I didn’t feel strong enough anymore. After not knowing my brother was suffering so much, I thought “what do I know after all about mental health?”. I knew I had to have a break from my clinical role and maybe work in a bookshop or at a friend’s restaurant for a year or so. But this role gave me purpose at a time when I needed it most.
Looking back now, I can see how my personal story and professional path are woven together. Grief taught me early on how fragile and vital sleep is — and how essential it is to our ability to cope, to regulate emotions, and to begin healing.
If there’s one thing I’d want anyone grieving to know, it’s this: poor sleep in the first weeks is normal. Don’t fight it. Nap if you can. Be gentle with yourself. And seek support — professional, social, whatever you can access. Grief is too big to carry alone.
I often think, I wish I’d known about Griefline back then. I would have called.
And that’s why I wanted to share my story — because maybe it will help someone else feel less alone in theirs.
About Dr. Moira Junge
Dr Moira Junge is a Health Psychologist and the CEO of the Sleep Health Foundation. She has more than 35 years of experience in healthcare and has worked in the field of sleep disorders since 1994. Moira has served on numerous boards and committees, including the Australasian Sleep Association and the Sleep Health Foundation, and is dedicated to promoting evidence-based solutions to improve sleep health across Australia.
Sleep Health Week 2025
This story is published on the first day of Sleep Health Week 2025 (Monday 11 – Friday 15 August), Australia’s leading awareness campaign on the critical role of sleep in overall health and wellbeing.
This year’s theme, “Sleep: The Lifelong Superpower” highlights how quality sleep boosts mental and physical health, supports learning and memory, strengthens immunity, and improves mood and productivity.
Throughout the week, the Sleep Health Foundation will share evidence-based information, resources, and free public webinars to help Australians make sleep a priority at every stage of life.
Learn more: Sleep Health Week 2025
Support resources
If you’re grieving, you don’t have to face it alone.
The following resources can help you find support, connect with others who understand, and explore practical tools for living with grief.
- Griefline helpline – free support, 365 days a year, call 1300 845 745
- Griefline online forums for peer-to-peer support and connection
Crisis and emergency support
If you are experiencing crisis, or are worried about yourself or someone else, please contact Lifeline by phoning 13 11 14 or by texting 0477 13 11 14
Kids Helpline is available 24/7 to support young people aged between five and 25, call 1800 551 800
