How to support a grieving colleague

Grief doesn’t end when someone returns to work.  

For your colleague, coming back after the death of a loved one may feel like stepping into a world that has kept moving while theirs stood still. 

The return to work can be a tender and confronting part of the grief journey. As a teammate or manager, your role isn’t to fix their grief but to help create an environment where they feel supported, understood, and not alone. 

This guide offers gentle, practical ways to support a colleague navigating grief as they return to the workplace. 

Acknowledge their grief and be present 

Everyone experiences grief differently. Some people may feel open to talking about their loss; others might prefer to stay private. Either way, acknowledging their grief with care is more supportive than saying nothing at all. 

A simple message like: 

“I’m really sorry to hear about your loss. Please know I’m thinking of you, and I’m here if you ever want to talk or need anything.” 

…can offer comfort and let them know they’re not alone. You don’t need to say the perfect thing – your presence and compassion are what matter most.  

What to say (and what to avoid) when someone is grieving 

Grief can make everyday conversations feel delicate. You don’t need to avoid your colleague, but be mindful of your language. 

Helpful things to say: 

• “I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you.” 
• “You don’t have to pretend everything’s okay.” 
• “We’re here to support you in whatever way feels helpful.” 

Avoid saying: 

• “They’re in a better place.” 
• “At least they lived a long life.” 
• “Time heals everything.” 
• “Let me know if you need anything.” (Instead, offer specific help.) 

Well-intentioned advice or clichés can feel dismissive of the deep emotional weight of grief. Aim to listen more than you speak. 

Support their workload with flexibility and care 

Grief often affects concentration, energy, motivation, and decision-making. Your colleague may appear “fine” one day and overwhelmed the next – and that’s normal. 

You can help by: 

• Gently checking in on their capacity. 
• Offering to share responsibilities where possible. 
• Being patient with delays, mistakes, or emotional moments. 

If you’re in a leadership role, consider a gradual return-to-work plan or flexible hours to support their grief journey.  

Respect their privacy and boundaries 

Grief is personal. Not everyone wants to talk openly about their loss at work, and that’s okay. 

Instead of assuming, ask: 

“Is there anything you’d like me to share with the team? Or would you prefer to keep things private?” 

Let them guide how much or how little they want to say. Respect their wishes, and never speak about their grief with others unless they’ve given clear permission. 

Stay connected over time 

One of the most painful parts of grief is how quickly the world moves on. Many people feel supported in the immediate aftermath of a loss, only to experience silence weeks or months later. 

Your ongoing support matters. Try: 

• Checking in regularly, even with a short “thinking of you” message. 
• Making space for their grief, even long after the funeral. 
• Offering low-pressure invitations – like a coffee break or walk – without expecting conversation about their loss. 

Grief can last a long time. Continued care helps your colleague feel seen and supported, rather than isolated. 

Recognise that grief comes in waves 

Grief doesn’t follow a linear path. It may show up as sadness, irritability, forgetfulness, or emotional overwhelm. Certain days – birthdays, anniversaries, or unexpected reminders – can be especially difficult. 

Be mindful that: 

• Some days they may need extra space or quiet. 
• They might prefer not to engage in light-hearted banter or celebrations. 
• Kindness and patience go a long way, even if you don’t know exactly what they need. 

Final thoughts 

Supporting a colleague through grief isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about showing up with empathy, offering practical help, and allowing them to grieve in their own way – without judgement or expectations. 

Grief doesn’t switch off at work. It lingers in the quiet moments, the to-do lists, and in office small talk. Your understanding can help lighten their load, even just a little. 

You don’t have to have the right words – just a willingness to walk alongside someone who is learning how to live and work while carrying grief. 

If you feel your organisation could benefit from building its capacity to support grieving employees and colleagues, Griefline offers tailored grief-literacy training for workplaces and on-demand webinars.