Where do they go??

[zero]

I had to have my best mate put down and the pain is so bad. I never expected him to completely vanish leaving an emptiness I cant face,

Topic

[VMPatch]

Hello @zero
I am very sorry to hear that you have lost your best mate. No doubt he was a big part of your life and so the pain of losing him must be immense. The more we love the more it hurts.
It is good that you have reached out through this forum for support. I encourage you to keep doing that either through this forum and/or by calling the Griefline helpline to chat with one of our trained volunteers. It is open 8am to 8pm ( AEDT) on 1300 845 745. Also try to take care of yourself as much as you can while you are going through this really painful time. You may want to read our fact sheet about pet loss- see link below
https://griefline.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Griefline-Losing-a-Pet-Fact-Sheet-EN.pdf
You mentioned feeling ” an emptiness I can’t face”. If this means you have any thoughts of suicide please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 ( available 24hrs 7 days a week) or 000 if in immediate danger.
Please keep in contact as we are here to support you through this time.

[abc01]

Dear zero,

I am so sorry for the loss of your best mate.
The only thing I can say to you,is that I understand them being there one second and then they are gone the next and your whole world and life changes.
But they don’t go anywhere. They stay with you in your heart, your mind, your soul and your memories.
You never leave them behind as time moves forward. You take them with you as you continue in life. You carry them with you into your new life with them not physically here anymore. Your memories will seem hard to grasp, as you have been living in the moment with them and it will take time to not panic that you will forget them. Because you never will. You will always remember memories of the great moments you have shared together and that has been cemented in time.
Your best mate has changed you throughout your time together and you will continue to be that person that they loved. And carry what they have taught you. Whether it is just to laugh at goofy moments or enjoy an open window while driving in the car, the benefits of a cozy blanket in the winter or the kindness to have met your mate and given them the best life possible.
They go with you, you will see them around out the corner of your eye, you will see them in their favourite places in your home, they will visit you in your dreams and some people believe they will help you find your new furry family member,if and when you are ready.
The pain is so intense because the love you have for your best mate was so beautiful and strong. It still is. The emptiness is real and challenging to face. But that is okay. You have just lost them. It is very raw for you. Please look after yourself and be kind to yourself during this time. You don’t need to have any answers. And crying isn’t a weakness. You are mourning the one you love. It is more than acceptable.
Please know that a true love story never ends and that they will always be the best part of you. And I think that is a pretty good thing to have experienced in this life. I hope having had your best mate in your life will be one of the things you are most proud of when you are old and grey.

I am sorry this is so painful right now, but know that there will be moments where you will smile or laugh at some memory that just pops up in your mind. It does take time, but you will cry less and smile more. But for now, do what you need to do and take it one day at a time.

Your mate was lucky to have you.
ABC01

[zero]

Thank you for your empathy.
I’m just not sure what to say right now.

[VM-Jerry1]

Hi Zero,

I am just checking in after the loss of your best mate. It can be so painful to lose a pet that you loved so much and was such an important part of your life. I am glad that you feel supported by the replies to your original post. I hope you are looking after yourself, getting enough rest and keeping up with your meals. Grieving is so different for everyone, some days may be easier or harder than others. Rest assured that you can continue to reach out via this forum or an the helpline 8am to 8pm (AEDT) on 1300 845 745 to chat with a trained volunteer.

Take care

[Author]

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