Loss of a Loved One

[onlinecommunity]

Welcome to a place to discuss the loss of a partner, family member, close friend or anyone significant in your life.

Everyone grieves differently. Your grief is as unique as your own fingerprint. However, while often immensely painful, grief is our natural healing process in response to loss.

Grief comes and goes, it can be intense and then manageable, predictable and then uncontrollable. It might be brought on by a recent loss or a historical one, be triggered by an anniversary or the dread of an approaching milestone.

This forum is a safe and emotionally supportive space. It is a place to be accepted and understood by others who can empathise with you. You can feel free to remember your loved one and tell us about your grief journey. Together we can learn to understand the changing nature of grief over time while sharing coping tools and ways to practice self-care.

Topic

[VM_Lavender]

Hi @kent,

my heart goes out to you hearing about the loss of your beloved wife. It sounds like you two were each others life partners and best friends. I can imagine it would be so difficult to fill your day after probably committing all your time to caring for her in her last days. It also makes sense how even the TV cannot distract you from your grief but rather reminds you of time shared together watching TV programs. It is very normal how you are feeling and grief is very overwhelming. I have linked a couple of Griefline resources you may find helpful at this time: https://griefline.org.au/resources/when-a-loved-one-dies-guide-to-coping-with-grief-loss/

Common questions from the bereaved

Grief and loss: How to cope with loneliness and isolation

Please continue to reach out on these online forums and if you ever feel like a supportive chat the phone line is available Monday to Friday 9am-6pm and Weekends 12pm-6pm – 1300 845 745

We are here and listening

[VM-Serenity66]

Dear @kent, @alisonjgg, and @missingsomeone,

Your support for each other is so heartwarming and inspiring. Thank you for sharing on the forum and for helping each other. It’s really what the forum is all about.

@kent, this all sounds so recent and raw for you. Such a huge adjustment takes time, and no-one can tell you how much time. I do hope you are taking good care of yourself, and giving yourself a lot of patience while this unfolds for you.

A quiet house can be a daunting place after loss. I wonder if perhaps you have friends, family or social groups that you are able to connect with as you move through this painful time. A little company, on your own terms, can be a powerful thing.

The Griefline website has resources and articles at https://griefline.org.au/resources/ that I hope you find helpful. Of course, you are always welcome to call the Helpline on 1300 845 745 during open hours, if you feel that a chat with a caring volunteer would be helpful.

Kindness

[kent]

thank you alison for your kind thoughts I was also a carer and I am having too much spare time after a big house clean and finding things to do.Watching tv does not interest me anymore too many shows we used to watch together I find myself thinking all the time about will she like something when shopping for food

[alisonjgg]

Thanks you so much. I am sending my absolute best wishes to you. Has it become any easier yet?
We had the service for mum a couple of weeks ago. IT was such an emotional day, but good to see my far flung family if only briefly. It was so final though, and receiveing her ashes was hard. I cry a lot. I received a sympathy card today and burst into tears. I have not done any of my executor duties but it’s only been about 6 weeks. I’m thinking I should start in the next few weeks. There is no one I can ask to go with me to the solictor, it will just be me. I’m not even sure where to start – I guess I will give them a call eventually and ask what I should do next.
Hugs to you

[alisonjgg]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. 64 really is quite young, it must have been such a shock. I know what you mean about the house being empty and lonely. I lost my mum a few weeks ago. Even though we knew it was coming I still can’t quite believe it. THe house feels so big, quiet and empty, I put the radio or TV just so there is a bit of company. I’ve got so much more free time now, too much, because I was her carer and now that’s all gone. I’m trying to find some volunteer opportunities but no real luck yet.
I hope you can find some ease in time. It’s still very new and raw for you. Hugs to you my friend.

[kent]

My wife died 19 days ago she was only 64 we have been together for 28years i am having trouble coping with everything the house is so quiet and lonely

[missingsomeone]

@alisonjg
Hang in there,it’s a tough journey,I started a journal and did a nice big photo frame with pics of mum that really helped me,I also did some pics and videos on my phone,think of all the memories u have with your mum,big hugs thinking of u in this tough time

[alisonjg]

Sending you lots of strength, love and hugs

[missingsomeone]

@alisonjg
I’m hearing ya,I’ve never been one to stay in my pjs all day but I’ve had a couple of those days,eating and sleeping just aren’t something I do at the moment so can’t help there,I’m an executor of my mums will along with my brother and sister,it was daunting going to the solicitor the first time not knowing what was happening but they go through things with u and made it a bit easier,we r just going through that stuff now,I did not expect to loose mum at all she went in for a infection,12 weeks on she didn’t come out,was the biggest shock,your right though u just expect they will b there forever my mum was just 69,just take each day as it comes I cry nearly everyday for mum and not a second of the day I’m
Not thinking of her and all the what ifs what should we have done differently,some days I don’t even want to b living,but hr by hr we get through,missing them will never go away,your not alone though there’s always someone to talk to

[alisonjg]

Thank you so much. People keep telling me to take care and I’m trying so hard every day just to get out bed, eat, shower, drink water. I just wish I could fast forward a few months. I’m also the executor of her will which is stressing me out.
I’m so sorry you lost your mum too. We think they’ll be there forever somehow. Her mum lived into her 90s so I thought she would too. But dementia had other plans.
Sending you big hugs too.

[Author]

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