Sudden loss of young dog is killing me

[jpchin]

My family is in total despair after the sudden death of 2-year-old Bronze.
At the start of the year my wife and I started caring for our daughter’s young pup when she moved to another city for work. Bronze was a handful but the longer we spent with him the better he got and he had grown into a really fun, happy 2-year-old dog who had become very obedient (most of the time). Last week he was his usual fun-loving self having a ball chasing the frisbee and chasing bubbles, leaping in the air to catch them. Late morning he did a few vomits so we booked him into the vet and the next day he was gone. He had eaten a dog toy which got stuck in his stomach and couldn’t be saved.
We are heartbroken on so many levels. 1. That we will never get to see him grow up any more and that his life got cut so short.
And 2. That I keep replaying over and over did I miss something? Why didn’t I notice a missing dog toy? Why weren’t there any symptoms? If he had gone downhill gradually we could have recognised some signs and saved him but by the time he was sick it was too late. And that kills me more than anything. I feel like I failed him.

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[jpchin]

Thank you for your reply and for sharing your similar experience. I had a kelpie growing up and we have a 12-year-old kelpie now. With her age, I do find myself thinking of her mortality but I don’t think it would be as shocking as what we are experiencing with Bronze.
The other thing I am struggling with is providing comfort to my wife and daughter. I worry that I say the wrong things or that I am too attentive or not attentive enough and that I should be able to make them feel better but that I am not helping them and only making their pain worse.

[vm watersoul]

@jpchin I’d like to say that your family’s heartbreak on all levels are entirely normal reactions to such a tragedy. I can totally relate , I had a beautiful Kelpie friend who did the same thing, he was young too and loved to chew things and yes it was fast and shocking. It sounds to me like you gave Bronze a wonderful, joyful life, full of frisbees and bubbles, he was greatly loved in his short life. The need to replay events and work out what happened is understandable and pretty common; it’s the way your brain tries to make sense of an unexpected loss that felt outside your control. There are so many unanswerable questions, but it sounds like you truly did act with the best of intentions, and you couldn’t have foreseen this freak accident. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of a beloved family member in whatever way works for you and remember it takes time. If you haven’t found it already Griefline has some resources that may be helpful for your family. losing a pet. Take care of each other and you can always call from 8am to 8pm if you need to talk.

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