Missing my mum

[missingsomeone]

I lost my mum in Jan this year,she was in hospital for nearly 12 weeks we didn’t know we were going to loose her until the week before it happened,I’m so lost without her,how do u all cope with the loss? my whole year has been one thing after another and she was my go to person im really missing that,she should still b here life is not fair at all,my mind runs overtime there’s so many what ifs,why did it happen to our family,I can’t eat properly,sleep what’s that these days

Topic

[downennumb]

Hey @missingsomeone I know things aren’t great at the moment, I highly suggest seeing your GP ASAP (if not already) for a mental health care plan consultation, its not a magical remedy but 10 bulk billed psychologist sessions can be very beneficial for you given you’re facing. May I also suggest using chaplain services, I think u would really benefit from a larger support network.

As always, I wish you well.

[VM-Serenity66]

Dear @missingsomeone,

I’m sorry to hear that there are family complications making things harder for you. Grief and conflict can make the mind race in painful circles. Getting your attention into your body can help step out of persistent overthinking. Some sensory grounding tools that might help are gentle movement like walking, stretching, doing a jigsaw puzzle, or taking in a movie or podcast with a story that you have to follow. Simple things like slow breathing, or a warm shower can also soothe the nervous system when the mind won’t quiet. It can take a bit of discipline sometimes to detect when you are stuck in a loop, and do something deliberately to break out.

It’s always a good thing to see your GP if troublesome patterns won’t shift, or if you become concerned about your alcohol intake.

I’m really glad to see @downennumb connecting with you. It’s so important for our community to support each other. It all adds up.

• This reply was modified 5 days, 15 hours ago by VM-Serenity66.

[missingsomeone]

@ downennumb
Not feeling great feels like I’ve nearly lost everything
Some family issues have come up this last week
Really don’t know what to do

[downennumb]

hey @missingsomeo how are you feeling now?

I understand it has been very rough for you this year, sending my best wishes through

[missingsomeone]

The day we lost mum I lost my purpose to walk this journey

That day was the hardest day of my life

Coming home from work seeing her empty chair,asking what she wants for dinner

[missingsomeone]

The day we lost mum I lost my purpose for walking this journey

Hardest day of my life was that day

[missingsomeone]

@VM-Serenity66
It’s not that some don’t want to do the same thing we have had a bit of a falling out which is a bit heartbreaking,one
Of my family members seems to b taking there feelings out on me instead of trying to work things out as a family

I’ll definitely keep up with the journal

Any ideas how to help settle my mind it’s always thinking overtime since mum,
Work helps me of a day,wasn’t much of a drinker but it’s the only thing helps me of a night now

Everything seems to come at u all
At once making life hard

• This reply was modified 1 week, 1 day ago by missingsomeone.

[VM-Serenity66]

@missingsomeone,

That’s sounds like such a long painful journey for you all. It makes sense that you would be feeling lost, and perhaps upset that not everyone wants to do things the same way. With so much pain from the ups and downs of grieving, a surprising number of people report that they’d rather not be here to experience it. It’s natural to want relief from suffering. If those thoughts become intrusive thoughts of suicide, please know that you can reach out any time to Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Callback Service (1300 659 467), or 000 if you feel it’s getting too much.

I encourage you to keep using your journal, and all your daily self-care practices however small, as every little source of comfort can add up to help you through. You are always welcome to keep in touch with us here on the forums, or on the Helpline (1300 845 745). We are here to help you move through this, and feel supported. Our little community would love to hear that you are still safe and healing in your own time.

kindness.

[missingsomeone]

@VM-Serenity66

The journal has helped me so much

When we lost dad nearly 7 years ago the family use to take mum out for dinner just to b there for her on his birthday/Father’s Day and the day we lost him which was all very close August/september
Now we have not long lost mum and there’s a bit going on I just feel lost as I thought the family still might still do a get together but I doubting that will happen now
Mum went to hospital on her birthday last year we said to her we would make it up to her once she came out,fast forward she was still in there at Christmas,the family spent Christmas Day with her at the hospital and thought we would make it up to her once she came out,January came along n she didn’t come out of hospital
it was a big 3 months for our family while mum was in hospital

I’m really feeling lost in this world at the moment

Some days I’d rather just not b here

• This reply was modified 1 week, 3 days ago by missingsomeone.

[VM-Serenity66]

Dear @missingsomeone,

I’m really glad to hear that you have started a journal. It’s so important to have somewhere to put all those thoughts and feelings; a place where you don’t have to explain them to anyone (not even yourself).

I hear you on how it might feel to have Mother’s Day approaching. My Mum is still alive, but I recall the first Father’s Day after my Dad passed (after a rare and terminal brain disease). It was helpful for me to approach it as a memorial day, a time to be remembering and organising my memories and keepsakes so that my Dad’s life (and death) made sense to me, knowing that in the end none of us could have prevented it. I don’t like a lot of fuss and hooey, so I did it quietly, by myself. There will be a right way for you too.

It will be tough when the commercial marketing machine is out there selling everyone cards and flowers to celebrate their Mums. You get to decide how you would like to do it your way though. Perhaps take a little time to plan things and prepare yourself for the way you’d like to do it. That might mean setting aside your own space and time.

Best wishes, kind thoughts and compassion.

[Author]

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