Missing my mum

[missingsomeone]

I lost my mum in Jan this year,she was in hospital for nearly 12 weeks we didn’t know we were going to loose her until the week before it happened,I’m so lost without her,how do u all cope with the loss? my whole year has been one thing after another and she was my go to person im really missing that,she should still b here life is not fair at all,my mind runs overtime there’s so many what ifs,why did it happen to our family,I can’t eat properly,sleep what’s that these days

Topic

[missingsomeone]

Hi @VM-Serenity66
@ downennumb
@ vm-oscar-at
Participant

Thanks for all your kind words,Mother’s Day was hard to get through the last few days feels like I’m back on the day mum passed,I need to find a good gp in my area I’ve just put it in the 2 hard basket at the moment
What support groups r out there face to face

[vm-oscar-at]

Hi @missingsomeone,
You have been through some incredibly challenging losses that have compounded over time, so I can hear and understand the difficulty in finding purpose and someone thing to connect to. It can also be difficult to manage our grief and challenges on our own or with others that are moving through their own grief journey over a shared experience. It can also be difficult to reach out to strangers, but I can see that you’ve been able to do just that through this forum and receiving some helpful, empathic and caring responses.

And even thought we feel that at times we may be coping, I can hear some strength and resilience in continuing to look to ways to cope and tools and strategies that guide you through this period. So I see you adding to your backpack of things to tap into, and maybe one day that will include reaching out to a GP, or local support group face-to-face.

It’s a strength to continue to engage with the community on the forum and to share how the grief is affecting you, even if it feels like there’s not much change.

Thank you for checking in with us.

[downennumb]

Hey @missingsomeone I know things aren’t great at the moment, I highly suggest seeing your GP ASAP (if not already) for a mental health care plan consultation, its not a magical remedy but 10 bulk billed psychologist sessions can be very beneficial for you given you’re facing. May I also suggest using chaplain services, I think u would really benefit from a larger support network.

As always, I wish you well.

[VM-Serenity66]

Dear @missingsomeone,

I’m sorry to hear that there are family complications making things harder for you. Grief and conflict can make the mind race in painful circles. Getting your attention into your body can help step out of persistent overthinking. Some sensory grounding tools that might help are gentle movement like walking, stretching, doing a jigsaw puzzle, or taking in a movie or podcast with a story that you have to follow. Simple things like slow breathing, or a warm shower can also soothe the nervous system when the mind won’t quiet. It can take a bit of discipline sometimes to detect when you are stuck in a loop, and do something deliberately to break out.

It’s always a good thing to see your GP if troublesome patterns won’t shift, or if you become concerned about your alcohol intake.

I’m really glad to see @downennumb connecting with you. It’s so important for our community to support each other. It all adds up.

• This reply was modified 1 week, 3 days ago by VM-Serenity66.

[missingsomeone]

@ downennumb
Not feeling great feels like I’ve nearly lost everything
Some family issues have come up this last week
Really don’t know what to do

[downennumb]

hey @missingsomeo how are you feeling now?

I understand it has been very rough for you this year, sending my best wishes through

[missingsomeone]

The day we lost mum I lost my purpose to walk this journey

That day was the hardest day of my life

Coming home from work seeing her empty chair,asking what she wants for dinner

[missingsomeone]

The day we lost mum I lost my purpose for walking this journey

Hardest day of my life was that day

[missingsomeone]

@VM-Serenity66
It’s not that some don’t want to do the same thing we have had a bit of a falling out which is a bit heartbreaking,one
Of my family members seems to b taking there feelings out on me instead of trying to work things out as a family

I’ll definitely keep up with the journal

Any ideas how to help settle my mind it’s always thinking overtime since mum,
Work helps me of a day,wasn’t much of a drinker but it’s the only thing helps me of a night now

Everything seems to come at u all
At once making life hard

• This reply was modified 2 weeks ago by missingsomeone.

[VM-Serenity66]

@missingsomeone,

That’s sounds like such a long painful journey for you all. It makes sense that you would be feeling lost, and perhaps upset that not everyone wants to do things the same way. With so much pain from the ups and downs of grieving, a surprising number of people report that they’d rather not be here to experience it. It’s natural to want relief from suffering. If those thoughts become intrusive thoughts of suicide, please know that you can reach out any time to Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Callback Service (1300 659 467), or 000 if you feel it’s getting too much.

I encourage you to keep using your journal, and all your daily self-care practices however small, as every little source of comfort can add up to help you through. You are always welcome to keep in touch with us here on the forums, or on the Helpline (1300 845 745). We are here to help you move through this, and feel supported. Our little community would love to hear that you are still safe and healing in your own time.

kindness.

[Author]

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