Loss of mum

[suraus]

Lost my mum almost a month ago. 6wks ago we heard the cancer spread, 5wks ago she deteriorated and I flew to Netherlands shortly after. She passed away 1 day after my arrival and I flew back to Australia after 2weeks post funeral. Initially had problems sleeping and sought help gp, now I feel strangely calm, sad, trouble with focus. Numb. Is this normal?

Topic

[VM-Mancha1]

Hi @suraus,

it is absolutely normal to experience numbness after such a loss, grief can disrupt everything in our lives and sleep can be one of the first things we surrender. Coping with loss is something that can take some time to figure out and it’s often not a straightforward linear process, so being aware that what you’re experiencing is normal, and giving yourself permission to feel the way you feel without judgment, is absolutely an important step.

I am so pleased that you’ve come here and reached out, you’ll find there is a great community here. It sounds like in reaching out to us you have shown a lot of courage, and a lot of self-awareness around what’s happening for you. Those are great strengths to build on, and will help with your coping skills. One good place to start is here: https://griefline.org.au/resources/understanding-the-symptoms-of-grief/

It’s really important that you do get the support you need right now, especially as sleep is a really key element in being able to cope and stay healthy. You’re not alone here, we are all with you – take a look at some of the other shared stories here, and don’t be afraid to reach out to others.

We’re here for you.

[suraus]

Thank you vm- manchal, I thought I was losing my mind.

[suraus]

Yes some melatonin 2mg, but I stopped taking them 2days ago to see if I was able to sleep through night without.

[suraus]

I got the pills to help me sleeping as I hadn’t slept for 5days.

[Moon]

Hi Suraus, I’m a bereaved daughter and also a grieving mum. I’m glad you have reached out so soon, you must still be in a different time-zone warp almost.
Sure jet-lag etc but you are not alone in any of your feelings of post funeral numbness or changes in sleep patterns. You ask, is this normal? I can only reply this is your normal for right now and that’s okay. You’ve just experienced all the stresses of an overseas final goodbye, there’s a lot to process, so be patient with yourself and no hurry in doing so. But I do recommend to keep talking, there’s listening ears here xx

[Author]

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