Loss of a close friend of mine

[championphilyra]

Last year a friend of mine perished from a volcanic eruption known as the White Island Disaster. My school brought up the news and I refused to accept the news. Every day I would look through the school gates hoping that she would walk through the gates unscathed, but she never came back. The reality and the truth has hit me hard and ever since then I’ve been feeling depressed. Life just isn’t the same without her, and I still feel lost.

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[GL friend]

@championphilyra, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is understandable that you feel lost. Your feelings are normal and valid for what you have experienced. Our friendships are so important to us and to lose someone so suddenly and unexpectedly brings up so many emotions. I find journaling helps me make sense sometimes.

[onlinecommunity]

Hi @championphilyra, a warm welcome to you. You are one of our very first contributors on the new Griefline forums and we thank you for starting the thread ‘Loss of a Close Friend of Mine’ – particularly as it’s a form of grief that so many Australians are confronted with every day.

I feel that your grief may have been further compounded by the sudden and traumatic nature of your dear friend’s passing…when we are completely unprepared, we are more likely to experience ambiguous loss which might leave a person searching for answers and as you say, ‘feeling lost’.

You also mention that you are feeling depressed and I am hoping that you have discussed this with your GP as he or she is your best resource for combatting the difficult symptoms that come with this.

For now, your simple act of reaching out on this forum is an excellent form of self-care. By sharing your experience and sitting with those painful feeling you can start to process the loss in your own time. And as the Forum grows you will find many others who can empathise and walk with you on this journey. For now, please know that we are here for you any time you wish to share.

[championphilyra]

@GL friend Not only that I also lost another friend of mine earlier this year. Why are the people whom I love perishing around me rapidly?

[championphilyra]

@GLfriend Not only that I also lost another friend of mine earlier this year. Why are the people whom I love perishing around me rapidly?

[GL friend]

@championphilyra, I deeply felt your last post, “why are the people whom I love perishing around me rapidly?”
The truth is I don’t know why people leave us. I wonder if anyone knows. Sometimes I think grief and loss caused by passing of someone are a bit of a mystery because we are stuck with this “why”. When my mother died, I wandered the exact same thing “why did she go”. I don’t have an answer for myself either… I just picked myself up and kept going, some days it’s hard, and some days I don’t even think about. You are strong.

[Sarah]

I think it is in our nature to try to find some meaning when we lose people in succession. Maybe there is no sense to it other than a random tragedy that shows how human and frail we really are. It seems to me you have an inner strength to cope, maybe that’s what we find out, we have the capacity to cope even when we don’t understand why. When i lost my dad 18 months ago, I felt the same injustice. Now I embrace his memory and try to live in a way he would enjoy.

[championphilyra]

@GLfriend life just sucks so much for me now, every day has always been so overwhelming for me.

[Sarah]

I know it is tough and doing an act of random kindness can get me through a tough time. Hope that helps

[championphilyra]

Quite recently I got cyberbullied by one of my friends who took out her phone and took a picture of me and sent it to a friend of hers in class. They got into trouble but I still haven’t gotten over it. I’ve been bullied ever since Year 3 and I’m in year 11. The bullying just never stops.

[GL friend]

hi @championphilyra
bullying is horrible. im sorry that this happened to you. i hope you’re able to seek support at school perhaps?

[Author]

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